Thursday, October 23, 2008

BROADCAST STYLE EXERCISE

NORTHWEST AIRLINES ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT IT IS CUTTING ITS DOMESTIC FARES BY UP TO 40 PERCENT FOR HOLIDAY TRAVELLERS.

 FRANK DEWITT, CEO OF NORTHWEST AIRLINES SAID, WE LIKE TO THINK OF IT AS A HOLIDAY GIFT TO OUR CUSTOMERS.

 TICKETS MUST BE PURCHASED BY FRIDAY FOR TRAVEL BETWEEN NOVEMBER 12 AND JANUARY 14 IN THE LOWER 48 STATES, ALASKA AND CANADA.

 DISCOUNTS VARY DEPENDING ON TRAVEL DATES AND ARE NOT AVAILABLE ON CERTAIN POPULAR DAYS, INCLUDDING NOVEMBER 23, NOVEMBER 26, DECEMBER 23 AND December 26.

 WITH THE DISCOUNTED, NON-REFUNDABLE FAIRES, A PASSENGER COULD TRAVEL ROUND-TRIP BETWEEN BOSTON AND SAN FRANCISCO FOR 500 DOLLARS ON CERTAIN DAYS.

1 comment:

camccune said...

Get rid of "announced." Just say: NORTHWEST AIRLINES IS CUTTING...

TRAVELERS has one "L"

Don’t start a sentence/quote with a name. Use the person’s title, so we understand why the comment is relevant. Also, review how to handle direct quotes in broadcast...or paraphrase this quote.

NORTHWEST C-E-O FRANK DEWITT SAYS...

INCLUDING has one "D"
FARES, not FAIRES

How about some paragraphs?

10/15