2) There is another snowstorm expected to hit the Sierra's today. This storm is part of a series of snowstorms.
3) Police stated that three firefighters were injured while they were helping evacuate 41 families from a fire at 204 Union Ave which roared through the six story building
1 comment:
Don't start with your lead with the "when" (e.g., yesterday or today) of the story. Ask yourself what makes this story newsworthy. Start with the most important and/or interesting info, generally the "who" and/or "what" of the story.
For the first story, what's news is that a local couple was awarded $150,000 in damages. Then tell me where, when and why.
"There is" is passive voice. Just start with "Another snowstorm is..."
You're close on the fire story -- just put the attribution (police said) after the news.
8/10 Please revise these leads and republish this post. Put "revised" in the headline so I'll spot it.
Post a Comment