Detective Sgt. Shawn Maples, was one of the first rescue workers to arrive at the scene. He heard cries coming from the burning truck and house, and he started digging through the debris. He spotted the driver lodged between the wheels of the truck, which had flipped on its side. The drivers legs were mangled and he could not move. Maples, Police Chief Scott Kirkland and Detective Ken Zinc, were able to pull him to safety. Maples said, We dragged him out in a heartbeat while the truck went up in flames. I just wanted to get him out of there."
A neighbor, Ruben Sharma, was about to head back to work around 1:30 when the crash occurred. He said, " First, I thought it was a major earthquake. This is unbelievable." His front yard is littered with bricks, broken glass, car parts, splintered wood and palm fronds.
Another incident that occurred was a Honda sedan that was hit by the truck was so crumpled that the driver was trapped inside. Rescue workers sliced into the car, peeling back the roof to free the trapped driver. The driver broke both of his legs. He is listed in serious but stable condition at john Muir Medical Center in Walnut Creek.
A couple other people were involved but no serious injuries were reported.
1 comment:
Your lead is too long and confusing. It also contains a fact error: this accident occurred early in the afternoon, not in the evening.
I'd suggest you delete the first sentence and revise the next two sentences as your lead, as follows:
A runaway asphalt truck left a path of destruction and a power outage in its wake in El Cerrito yesterday afternoon.
The 10-wheeler snapped a power pole and badly damaged five vehicles on Moeser Lane before smashing into a house, which subsequently caught on fire.
Now I'd like you to go back through this story and rewrite the rest of it. Tighten it up throughout, fix the quote format, and maintain past tense throughout.
11/15
Post a Comment